And I broke things off with another guy. one more to the pile.
why do I have such a childish concept of relationships? I fell in love three times, went out with one, the others just got away. but I want that feeling you know? the attraction, the excitement. but what if you only get three chances in this?
fuck I guess the first clue about this one was that I never really programmed his number into my phone, I knew it wouldn’t last. the second clue was that he sometimes asked me what am I thinking, I just hate when people ask that! sometimes silence is good.
I just feel like such a failure. I told myself that with this one I am going to sleep with, to break all the awkwardness- but I couldn’t even do that. and I feel like I leaded on this nice, gentle man- and then just ruin it all. the worst part is that he felt like he did something wrong. when I am the fucked up person.
back to single life again. I really hate myself sometimes.